[00:00:00] Kyra: Normally emotions is energy that is not moving in your body because we are tough to hold your emotions. You're angry. No, that's bad. Don't, don't be angry. Don't, don't cry. Like just hold it. Right. So we start holding everything in our bodies and sometimes when we wanna go deep and start looking into these aspects, our body gets a scare because it's something new.

And it's like, no, I don't wanna go there. Right? Like, no, I don't wanna see that. Like, um, that's, I'm, I'm, that's fearful, right? I, I feel fear

[00:00:40] Stephanie: Today on Beyond dating, we met with Kira and we chatted about sacred sexuality.[00:01:00]

[00:01:05] Kyra: And

[00:01:05] Stephanie: our sponsor for today's episodes is beyond the newest dating app in town. Check it out@datebeyond.co. So Kira, what is sacred sexuality?

[00:01:20] Kyra: Sacred sexuality? Well, let's start in a simple way, right? Like defining what sacred. And sexuality means to try to bring a little bit of context to it. So when you think of sacred, um, what comes to mind?

Normally eat something precious, something divine, something. important, right? And so when we talk about se sacred sexuality, it's starting to tap into that kind of understanding of what real, really sexuality is. Um, [00:02:00] sexuality, it's divine, you know, sexuality, it's is the most sacred energy we have. Like if we think about it, we comes.

We life comes from that energy. You know, life is created through sexual energy, through sexuality. It's when life in earth it, it, it's form all kind of life. Like if you see nature, you know, the flowers, the animals, they're always procreating, you know, creating life. So, Sexual energy is our li our life force is the center of, of who we are.

And I, the way I, I see it and the way, you know, I, I've, I came to understand it's that society has put so much [00:03:00] shame and, um, and a way of like holding. the power of sexuality or labeling sexuality in ways that we, we don't feel safe and we don't feel empowered when we talk about our sexuality or the way we connect to our sexual energy.

So with sexual sexuality, we start tapping into that understanding. And feeling and connection of our real self, our real power, allowing ourself to really feel and tap into the energies of who we truly are and our highest potential. Um, so if I can get more deep into that, um, , how we connect first to [00:04:00] our own sexual energy is one of the most important steps to start aligning and balancing our, our se sexual energy.

Um, because since we grow up, uh, the things around us, the way we grew up, our parents, our environments, everything, it's, you know, it's building the way we relate to each other and we relate to others. Um, so it's starting to understand how we feel ourself related to sexuality. Some people you. are very open sexually, right?

But maybe they're not understand the sacredness of that energy. Of the power, of that energy. Or maybe they do, but they're using it in a different way, you know, in, in maybe in the shadows. So one of the first steps, uh, uh, in sexual sexuality is start to bring some attention to those shadows. [00:05:00] observing. How are you relating to your sexual energy first with yourself?

So how do you relate to sex? How do you relate to sex with yourself? How do you relate to pleasure? You know, do you pleasure yourself? , how do you do it right? Like in that moment when you are genuine yourself, how, how are you relating to yourself and to your sacred energy, to your sex? Do you like, do you know what it's there?

Do you, do you see it as sacred? Do you feel it as sacred? Like you allow yourself to really. Be in that moment and, and really enjoy, you know, that energy, what it brings, [00:06:00] what it takes out. You know, it, it's all this dance that you can allow to start having with yourself and discovering. And I think, um, one of the first important things as well is to start taking pressure out of it.

because since we start, you know, connecting to ourselves sexual energy, since we're little kids, it's a lot of pressure, pressure around us or shame like, do you touch yourself? That's bad. And then all of that, it starts to, you know, come, you know, keep following us and growing up with us and just being in our little bag behind the way we, we relate to others.

So, yeah, I think, you know, starting first to bring that understanding, connection and, and feeling into how you relate yourself with your own sexual energy [00:07:00] and under understanding that sexual energy is life force is pure creative. , like if we know how to connect with, with sexuality, we are so, so like connected to creativity.

And so starting to tap into those, you know, first steps, start to bring balance within yourself, the way you feel with yourself. You know, if you feel empowered, if you feel comfortable in your own skin. And then how can you connect to others in such a much deep, deeper way and with others, bring that energy up, right?

To keep expanding that, you know, that. evolution and, and that energy that is, is pure life, is pure creation and abundance. Wow. That's amazing. .

[00:07:59] Stephanie: [00:08:00] So there's, I know there's like divine feminine energy and divine masculine energy. How do I tap into those and like, am I supposed to tap into my, both my masculine and feminine?

Like, what do I do as a woman

[00:08:16] Kyra: exploring? Wow. I love that question. Um, yes, we do. We do have, uh, both, we have both energies As a woman, we as a female with a, with a a woman body, we have masculine and we have feminine. And same as a, a male in a male body. It has fen, feminine energy and a masculine energy.

When we start understanding how this both energy works within ourselves, we start really, we start to really get to know ourselves. It's like we have this inner [00:09:00] couple, we have this inner couple going within us, and depending on how that couple that, you know, union, it's, it's working. It's how we. Project the world around us and is how we project the relationships around us.

one of the first, uh, ways that you can start, like starting to tap into misunderstanding and feeling yourself is first understanding which are your, you know, what, what's your feminine, right? And then you ask, ask her, you know, you can see, you close your eyes, just your take a moment and like, okay, what. , you know, my goddess is like my, the way you wanna call her, right?

Like, what, what she likes, right? So the feminine aspects are all the aspects that are wild, right? Creative, um, chaotic, [00:10:00] you know? Mm-hmm. , um, . She doesn't like to think too much. She like to feel, she likes to explore. She likes to create. She likes to play. So when you start giving her voice to see what she has to say, you can start to, to get to know her, what you like.

You know what, maybe she likes, you know, getting naked and dancing in the mornings, right? Maybe that's a way of her to feel alive. Um, Maybe she likes to dress, dress in crazy color some days. And, and when you know, you feel this energy, you can start tapping into, oh, okay, this is her, right? This is her. So start, start to just observe her, like see her.

And then on the masculine side, if we, if you are a, a woman in a female body, you know, it can be sometimes a. , [00:11:00] um, oh, you know, difficult or, or fearful, like, oh, who is he? Right. Um, like I have my masculine and he even has a name. Mm-hmm. and I, not too long ago, I start like connecting with him and, and it's incredible because it's like starting this new, relationship that has always been there, but you start exploring into it.

Right? And the masculine a aspects are the ma the aspect that are more organized. Uh, is this perseverance, this, this power of making things happen, or no, you're gonna wake up and you're gonna go for a run because that's what you need. You're gonna go every day to your yoga class because that's, , but you, you need that structure in your life.

So that's the way you can start to connect with your masculine and give, giving him voice. And then you can start opening a communication with be between [00:12:00] those two, what the feminine needs from the masculine and what the masculine needs from the feminine. And you can start having so much answers. things that we are projecting in outside of us in our relationships.

Sometime maybe your masculine needs you to see him and give him presence, you know, in my own experience to share a little bit more, uh, as an example, when I started doing all this work, I realized that my masculine wanted, he wanted to be seen. and appreciate it because my feminine always wanted so much.

I want more. I want more. I want more. And my masculine has been giving me so much. He had brought me where I am today with all the structure and making things happen, but my feminine wasn't seeing him and I needed to open that, you know, [00:13:00] conversation and then to see. Wow. Thank you. , you know, like, thank you for everything you have done for me, that now I'm here and now he feels seen.

And now I feel that strength of the masculine inside me much more open and, and, you know, strong. So it's very important that that question because, you know, as you start, connecting and understanding and giving space to that relationship to evolve than any kind of relationship outside you with a man, with a woman.

It's gonna be because the relationships we, we bring in our lives are projections. So when your union of your inner partnership, it's more balanced than you start projecting out. , different energy and then you start to attract, you know, [00:14:00] higher, like a higher kind of vibrational relationships in your life that will support your evolution.

Mm-hmm. .

[00:14:09] Stephanie: So if I'm dealing with any blockages when trying to connect with my masculine or feminine energy, yeah. What is, what are some tips that I can do, I can use to help me? You know, clear that channel.

[00:14:25] Kyra: Okay. Well, normally blockages, um, I will, I will recommend, um, different tools to work with blockages. Um, I recommend some, uh, emotional, uh, emotional tools, emotional release tools.

You can do to start moving the energy because this blockages, it's normally emotions, it's energy that is not moving in your body because we are tough, [00:15:00] um, to hold your emotions. Don't like you're angry. No, that's bad. Don't, don't be angry. Don't, don't cry. Like just hold it. Right. So we start holding everything in our bodies.

And sometimes when we wanna go deep and start looking into these aspects, our body gets a scare because it's something new and it's like, no, I don't wanna go there. Right? Like, no, I don't wanna see that. Like, um, that's, I'm, I'm, that's fearful, right? That I feel fear. So one of the better tools is start moving.

moving your body. So, um, I teach different tools. There are seven that are very, you know, like the most, um, the basic ones and the, you know, more effective to move your energy. Uh, so one, it's uh, the pillow cream. So you have to be in, you know, like by yourself in a, in a comfortable [00:16:00] space. And you grab a pillow, you breathe.

And you scream in your pillow. Be careful to not, you know, hurt your, your vocal cords, scream in the pillow, move your hips and just like, ah, and that start, move to move your energy. You can also do some jumps. Mm-hmm. . And breathe. And breathe. So, movement, movement, sound and breath is when it is gonna start, like making your energy move through your body.

Then it's another one where you can, you know, you do some like punches. In a pillow as well in your bed moving up and down with your body. Um, another one is called, uh, hand scream. You can like scream in your hands and all these tools are made to move, to move the energy to do completely the opposite that we've been doing since work.

Its mm-hmm. , you know, if you see a little kid when you know they're in their not natural state, [00:17:00] they, if they feel so. They react, they scream, you know they do. And then, ah, everything went away. Mm-hmm. , they don't hold the anger, they don't hold the No, they move it, let it go. And they keep smile smiling. Right?

So it is the same with emotions. So if you're doing this kind of work and you feel stuck, breathe, movement, move the energy, and then things are start, start to move. . Mm-hmm. thoughts are gonna start to calm down and feelings are gonna start to arise.

[00:17:37] Stephanie: Mm-hmm. nice. I'm definitely gonna try those tricks next time.

uh, when I'm, when you're trying to tap into your sacred sexuality with a partner, how can you, you know, tap into. Tap into it together.

[00:17:52] Kyra: Okay. I love that question too. Um, well, when you're in a partnership, I think commu communication [00:18:00] it's is, is the, is the first main, you know, foundation to, to start, uh, connecting in a deeper way.

Um, so I will say I am always having a conversation to see where you guys are meeting, you know, like, okay, what's sex? Maybe you know, something about sex, sexuality, and he doesn't know. Or maybe the opposite. So it's like having that start, start changing those thoughts to see how, you know, how you feel about it.

You know, maybe. , what do you want to explore about sex, the sacred sexuality? And maybe you are more into finding that inner marriage. Maybe he's more into the sexual, uh, encounters. Mm-hmm. , and it's all part of it, you know, sacred sexuality. It has the spiritual, uh, shadow work where you have to work with your, you know, trauma, shadows and, and fears.

And, [00:19:00] and then you have, you know, The aeros part that is the, the, the energy where you get to be playful and to bring all those fantasies and, and desires out. And then you have, uh, the other side that is connection to other other person. Right? Um, so I think it's starting to open, open that conversation and, and trying things that you both enjoy, you know, maybe.

you can start a conversation between they're feminine and your masculine and see how that feels. Like asking him, okay, tell me, allow your feminine to talk to me. That's gonna feel very weird to him because when he, maybe he has never give voice to his feminine, but maybe when she start talking to you like, Hey, like I, I want, I don't know, more cuddles, or, I want you to, I don't know, [00:20:00] do something nice for me in the morning, and maybe your masculine is like, oh, okay.

You like that? You know? So it's very interesting when you start having these conversations with your partner because you really get, you know, start to really get to know each other without shame, without fear, because you know, It's hard. So sad. It's so hard, you know, like for a man to give voice to her, f his, his feminine, that's, that's been in the shadow for so long.

But if you as, as your, as you know, his partner start to allow him to feel comfortable on in his feminine, you know, that's a completely game changer for the connection to happen and. when you wanna play sexually or you wanna go and explore something deeper spiritually, you guys like the partnership is gonna be so much deeper connected.

[00:21:00] So yeah, I think that. That's a way to start in that journey. Nice.

[00:21:06] Stephanie: So I also know that you do work in Tantra mm-hmm. . So how did, how did you get into that practice and, you know, what is tantra? How do you explore that?

[00:21:18] Kyra: Yeah. Well, tantra, um, I tantra involves so many things, um, and nor. . It's funny, like the way I start getting interested, I was, I was very young.

I, I, I. Starting, starting into my sexual encounters, uh, in college. And I don't know how I heard about Tantra and I remember I start like, like Googling and YouTube, like tantra. And I remember just finding like, oh, like long sex, you know, uh, longer orgasm. Like, you have to breathe and [00:22:00] you have to hold your orgasms.

And like, and I, I thought about it. I'm like, wow, this is interesting. It's a different way of relating to, to sex. Um, and then I, my life went into another direction. I went into yoga. I became a yoga teacher, then I started learning about, uh, plant medicine, shamanism, and other, other ways of, of, of healing.

But, Tantra or what, what, to me was kind of like sacred. Sexuality was always in the back of my head, and sexuality is something that has always been very alive in my life since I remember. I, I feel this sexual. Energy, power in me that I love, um, but be because I didn't know how to relate to it in the spiritual world.

I always felt judge, I always felt diminished because no, I'm too sexy. I'm too sexual, [00:23:00] you know, and, and I wanted to make, I wanted to find a way to feel comfortable with myself with without having to change who I was. You know, the mirrors a around me were like, oh, well you're too sexy. You need to, you know, like lower, lower, lower, lower that energy down.

Because if you're gonna be, you know, a healer or like, you cannot be like that. You cannot make sexy pictures or like show yourself like that. And. I tried, but I couldn't because it was against who I was. It's like, but that's part of me. How can I cut that out of me? So that's how I start to get curious how, how, how could I connect with that energy in a way that I could find like, you know, union.

So that's how I get into Tantra because I start investigating. . Uh, and then I started doing some workshops and, and when I start to get [00:24:00] into all this work, , like one of the first works is shadow work. You know, you start getting to know your shadows, understanding your fears, you know, how do you relate to your sexuality, you know, all these things.

And it wasn't about sex, you know, it was, it was about really getting to know myself and bringing all these things out to then feel empowered with me, with, with, with my real self. . So I start, you know, uh, doing workshops. Then I start, started to, to study with that school called , this international, uh, school of Temple Arts.

And I start taking trainings around the world. I went in Guatemala, Spain, just, you know, getting more deep into all this work to then share it with the world and most important, applying it in my life. Yeah. Wow. ,

[00:24:58] Stephanie: how would, [00:25:00] how would I start, you know, how do I start going diving into working on my shadow work so I can embrace my sexuality fully?

[00:25:10] Kyra: Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. , I love the questions you're giving me today. Um, I will say, uh, it's always, I will always recommend to find a teacher, someone that you feel some kind of interest connection. , read about the person, see some, you know, materials that they have, and do some little, maybe workshop here and there and, and start finding your way of what you feel more attracted to.

Um, Reading. You know, reading is always incredible, like reading different kind of, uh, books about sacred sexuality tantra to start like opening your consciousness and your energy and that's your way, way of also communicating to the universe that you [00:26:00] wanna go in that direction. I wanna know more. I, I wanna go dive deep into it and then the universe will start supporting you and showing you the.

and teachers will come on your way. You will see things like the world. There's so much out there. There's so much out there. So I will say, go with your intuition and, and find, you know, the teachers that speak to you, that you feel some kind of connection and just keep going. And, you know, life will, will show you where you have to go and where you, where is your path.

Mm-hmm. ,

[00:26:37] Stephanie: if I'm struggling with listening to my intuition, or feeling that, getting that confidence to just follow it. What can I do? Yeah,

[00:26:46] Kyra: yeah. Um, intuition is a big one. Um, it's like any kind of practice, you know, like intuition, connecting to your i, intuition is like, it's like any relationship in your life.

It's something that [00:27:00] you have to build little by, little by little with patience and intuition speaks to you through your. , like sometimes it can be a little voice, right? But the thing with the voice in, in, in our minds is like the mind, it's there and the mind, it's like the computer. that works with all the programs that have been built in your life and that tells you, go there, go there, go there.

Because the probability that if you go there, you're gonna fall is this one. So don't go there. Go there. So the mind works like that. So it's sometimes it's very hard to break out of that mind that is just trying to make things very, you know, safe or, or because you have so many bad experiences or we. or because your belief system.

So we're trying to break out of that. So the information that you need, you, it's, it's gonna [00:28:00] come from your body. From your body, so always keeping connecting to your body, to your breath, to your sound. That will always allow you to be more in contact with your intuition, feeling in your heart, in your gut, like when something happens.

When you have a question, just take a moment. Breathe and just feel you. Just feel your body. Your body will tell you, like if you're tense, if you are, you know, should I do this? Should I do that? If you really start to like, come here instead of here and bringing the energy down, you will start connecting with your intuition.

It's not gonna be like, oh, now yes, intuition is just talking to me. Right. , but if you keep doing it, it's gonna become clearer and clear, clearer and clearer than the message and the voice. I

[00:28:54] Stephanie: feel like I've learned so much from this conversation. , do you have any other [00:29:00] tips for about sacred sexuality embracing.

Embracing your sexuality, tapping into it, or tapping into your intuition. Mm-hmm. .

[00:29:09] Kyra: Yeah. Well, my, my advice is come back to yourself. Mm-hmm. , you know, come back to yourself. Everything, everything we need, it's inside of us. Everything we need is inside of us. We have to start to bring the attention in. Because everything around us is trying to pull us away to get our attention, to do this, do that.

So we get out and forget that we need to be here. So my biggest advice is that when come back to yourself, start. . Taking care of yourself, listening to yourself and, and when you start tapping into that, you will get all the answers you need to improve whatever you need to improve in your life to feel better with [00:30:00] yourself.

And, and remember that the universe is always supporting us. People around us, everything around us is supporting us. If we are awake and if we want to. If we have the intention to do it, everything around us will support. Yes. That's incredible. .

[00:30:19] Stephanie: Thank you so much Kira.

[00:30:20] Kyra: Thank you for inviting me, . So happy to be here.

Yes, it's so

[00:30:25] Stephanie: nice to chat with you. You're a goddess and I'm so excited

[00:30:29] Kyra: for the future. . Yes, such an honor. Thank you, .

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